On Monday we pulled the bus out of our friend's property that we have been living on for almost two months and we drove to the bus mechanic. We didn't think anything was wrong but wanted to get an oil change and all those other things that you do before a big trip. We also suspected that we needed new tires in the front and needed our one mudflap reattached. We pulled out of the yard and drove up the driveway with no issue, unlike when we pulled in. We then had a great, uneventful trip to the mechanic. I drove myself and Ida in the van behind the bus the whole way. I started to feel nervous about dropping the bus off but everyone there was super nice. One guy, who turned out to be the owner's son, was named Cassidy which I thought was a sure sign that Paulie had blessed this place and that our home was in good hands. We handed them the keys and we were on our way, busless.
We went to get lunch and carried on with our day but the whole time something was missing. It's now Thursday and it feels like an eternity since we were on the bus. I miss him so much. We are staying at our wonderful friends' house while they are on vacation which is great! They have a couple of large televisions, air conditioning, two toilets that flush and showers that you don't need to be concerned about water. This house has a lot of things my bus doesn't but still I want my bus back. The mechanic needs to keep the bus until Tuesday which is way longer than we hoped. We wanted the bus back tomorrow and we were going to leave on Saturday to go to my sister and brother in law's property in south, South Jersey. Now we are going to go and stay at Nick's mom's in Central Jersey until Tuesday and try to find something to do for a few days. Life is what happens when you are making other plans, right?
Our bus will be in tip-top shape when we get it back which is what we want but I didn't anticipate it being so hard being away from my home. I've taken long trips before and never longed for my home like this before. I feel like I'm missing an arm. Its so interesting to go through all of these feelings about our bus but I think what this is showing is that our bus is so much more than a place for us to sleep or a vehicle. The bus is not only our home but a representation of our hopes and dreams for ourselves and our family. The journey of the bus conversion was like waking up to myself in so many ways, the person who got forgotten in parenthood and suburbia. As I became a mom and an adult some dreams got stashed away and hidden. My childhood friend Kelley, whom I recently reconnected with, reminded me that I wanted this since seventh grade and my dreams have come true.
So waiting for the bus is not the most fun thing but I am trying to use this time to think about lots of things that have been forgotten. I am thinking about the life I wanted before what I was supposed to do became what I did. I'm using this chapter of my life as a do-over because everyone can. If you aren't digging your life do it over because you only have one life and you have no idea how long it might be. You need to live, truly be yourself, and don't be afraid to love really hard. I'm done doing things I'm supposed to do, I'm doing the things I need to do to fuel my soul and strengthen my family. So once again thank you Paulie for waking me up and pushing me once again to live.